One evening, when all was calm and cosy, when I was watching a lovely, romantic movie, I fell into a gap of time, and it was there. Solid, clear, vibrating, sort off jittery, and I had no idea. This has happened before. I let it be, with all my senses open, more than the physical.
It had fully developed and was solidly established. I looked at it like a child who sees a lit Christmas tree, for the first time.
There was no time, and then, I was curious. What was there, was of matters beyond my senses but also including some, capable of being explored. Quickly, all fumbled in confusion. It had not been coherent enough to attain or present a shape seamless enough to be recognisable by my senses.
Its melody and language were too rich, and my ears could not absorb sufficient sound pattern to decipher meaning or words.
I observed the spaces between cognizable seeing and hearing, and amongst the sound, I found something. This finding hummed, and I listened with no ears. I picked up its tone, and I hummed inside, and then I hummed with my vocal cords.
Now, time entered and walked with me. I moved away from probing for an understandable meaning, towards sensing its quality. This was good, and a sentence occurred inside me:
“It is, and it is not… at the same time, of no time.”
Now, I had not only this unfathomable non-thing but also this obscure sentence. It was strong, clear and solid and important, significant. What to do with it? My skill is writing, and I began to write. It was not enough to note the sentence, only.
I know from experience: Even when the impression had been so intense, I would loose some of the inexpressible part, the significant part of its meaning. I did not want to think about it and analyse it or trying to understand it. This would have distorted the experience, diluted its concentration, muddled its purity.
I had written down such events before. After years, I forgot them. Sometimes, when I browse through my library, and a title attracts me, I open it. I read, but the words have lost much of their meaning.
This time, I decided to write as much as would enter my mind, with the purpose to build a foundation with experiences and thoughts, which my human mind and my senses can recall (albeit not understand). From this, the un-sensible (non-sensible) parts of the complete filigree structure could grow again.
When you read the following building blocks, you may find them more coherent, because you know what their focus is. I hope, while reading the non-sensible parts, the intangible components, will form inside you and the complete impression will evolve.
Here is a collection of impressions, rather than thoughts, that were evoked immediately after the event. Nothing could happen during the event.
There are endless, parallel times; therefore, everything is contained in them. They are the total of all realities, experienced in mixed ways by all living beings and things.
Endless parallel times is such a big number so that all possible things can occur at the same moment because all can exist in parallel. Therefore, there is no time.
Time is the illusion of the mind… it creates time, because it treats information mostly sequentially, only within a narrow context it processes parallel, such as a small section of an image, at a limited resolution.
We are free to swing capriciously through all possibilities and could pick anything we like. Our mind cannot cope with this. It needs a sliding, continuous flow of sequential events.
Sudden changes make it feel uneasy and fearful. Eventually, it goes crazy. Natura non salta, said the old wise people, nature does not jump. And this way, we created our world.
As babies, we have hardly any starting points, positions, situations, habits, beliefs, characteristics or individuality. We can pick what we like, what attracts us in our real or imagined surrounding. There is no difference between the two.
Since we are not settled in our choices, we, and what we receive and do, can change significantly and arbitrarily, any moment. Once our character traits are established, the railway tracks on which choices run are hard to bend. It is harder to change one or stop on one, or end one, even harder to start one.
Our developing mind believes firmly, without telling us, that the choices the baby made are divine. It is blind to the fact that the information used for decision-making was insufficient, misinterpreted, distorted by perception and therefore mostly wrong.
The baby’s conclusions are the basis of our later behaviour. Our mind clams onto those personal characteristics with ferocity. To surrender them would be like dying. Dying of what? The rebirth of an adult with amazing abilities, certainly making better choices. The phoenix arisen from the ashes.
You know the game, where you hide several objects under a cloth. Then you lift the cloth for a few seconds and drop it again. How many of the items can I recall? Three to five?
Does this mean, the other items were not there, did not exist? Surely we knew, there were more. Perhaps, I can tell you some of their colours and even guess the number: about ten or more or many more.
All the people in the world make choices, whether they are aware or not. Some few choices are unique and rare, like deciding to walk a tightrope between two high-rise buildings. Some are similar, like having lunch around midday, many are same: for example when they are triggered by fashion, peer group behaviour, instinct, tradition or law.
There are over eight billion people on Earth. They are one species, one people, one organism. How many of their choices are based on human needs, innate behaviour, tradition and instinct dictated by mother nature?
May I suggest, at least half. How many of those four billion simple choices and consecutive actions are executed simultaneously, every second? How many of those are identical? Each moment, eight billion people make one choice.
How many choices are there? Eight billion, one each, at least, so that in worst case there is one for everyone? Since half would make similar choices, for argument sake, let’s say twelve billion.
We pick one out of the limited pool of choices, each moment and execute them.
All choices exist, simultaneously.
Some people say the number of choices is unlimited. I find the word unlimited has become fashionable and is used carelessly. Why use it, when twelve billion would suffice, quite well? It is a sacred word, referring to the border of limitless; the unlimited is where the gods dwell.
“When a tree falls in the woods, and no one saw or heard it, did the tree actually fall?” This koan the Zen master would ask the disciple. As long as the disciple would render an answer, the master would stoically repeat the question.
We don’t and cannot know what happens in the entire world. However, to be known or not has no bearing on a matter’s existence. Whether humans sense something with their limited abilities or not, is no validation nor disproof for the existence of something, more so, outside their perception.
Just consider vision, our main sensory intake. The information it provides to the mind is extremely distorted by perception and the mind’s limited capacity to see. Its sensory frequency range is minutely narrow (400 nm – 700 nm wavelength, not even one octave. Why is hearing not our primary sensory organ with an eight to ten time larger range?).
Therefore it’s easy to say:
The significant is invisible to the eye.
Alternatively, more bluntly: the existence of anything is entirely independent of human existence. Why do I bother saying this?
Everything exists. There is nothing, which does not exist.
Oh, I love this last sentence. Allow me to play and separate it into two segments. There is nothing… we know that. Neither in this vastness out there or the deep inside ourselves. Then, the sentence continues: …which does not exist… a bit of a contradiction.
Hearing what I say, without knowing what I say, then I am detached and can hear the other meaning.
Have you ever needed to wait for a choice before it became available? Yes, sometimes it feels not the right time. Have you noticed that making no choice is also a choice? I have written a fairy tale about this, called: Do Nothing where the title continues: ‘…and nothing will be left undone.’ Complete like the quote from the Book of Tao.
About the timing of choices are many proverbs; the reason for this underlines the significance of the topic. ‘Timing is everything.’ ‘Any choice is better than no choice.’ ‘Do it now. It will never get easier.’ ‘An opportunity wasted is an opportunity lost.’
When you look at the timeline, a chain of an infinite number of minute moments (nows) and you stop at one now, you could imagine all the possible choices, everything you could look at, do, and explore and all the actions involved with this, lined up on a string, perpendicular to the time line.
Perpendicular? Yes, because when the next now starts, there must be space for another line. And so on.
All the lines would be identical (since they include all possible choices) and it would be practical, if they were arranged in the same manner, too. It appears this way. When we follow our daily chores, there is not much of a sidewards movement.
Or, you could look at it this way: the line of choice is only useful at the now point. The one from the now before (in the past) can be tossed and the one attached to the next now is not needed, yet. So, maybe, there is only one line of choice with a hole in the middle, and the nows slip through it and at the moment of being located right there, the now can access the choice line.
Or, the endless could be like a giant cow and the now at the point of choice ends up directly under the cow’s derrière. Every moment a paddy flops onto the now and the person standing there gets the full experience (all choices), and off it (the paddy) hops into oblivion.
Comment: I am not good at drawing cows. And from behind, with a paddy would be rather undignifying, for the cow.
Everything exists simultaneously.
All choices are instantly available. Let me explain: I have an intense toothache. Why does it appear that I cannot choose a reality where I am pain-free?
Because my mind cannot cope with the idea. It blocks the knowledge, even it stands there as a solid golden column. Now, I take a painkiller, and the pain disappears.
How come that the painkiller works exactly at the place where I need it? How does it know, that I have a toothache?
I am not saying that it is all based on the placebo effect; however, could it be that through taking the pill (with plenty of water) my mind unhooks from its locked up situation and allows itself to be moved, sidewards, gradually?
Is there again another truth the pharmaceutical companies hide from us? Was this the reason why the alchemists, the sorcerers and witches had been eliminated?
Because they knew how to move us sidewards? How to make our mind pliable and not against its resistance, which originates from fear of not knowing. Not knowing what? Poor thing.
How is it NOT?
We are clear now, how everything is, but how is it not, simultaneously? At this moment, I am confused. I can’t tell. This was how the sentence had presented itself… no. This was, how I sensed what had been. Nothing was coming from there.
Oops, again, …there was more … a lot coming from there, I know because I was there. But I could not receive it because I have no antennas for the signals. Like a sailing ship does not move in the best breeze, when the sails are furled in.
How is it not, simultaneously? I can’t tell. When the sentence occurred inside me, with no words, and clearly, the is not was definitely part of it and made it complete.
Like in a slope of musical notes, three ascend, and the final note must go back to the starting line. A whole concert, after an hour of music, played by many, the final note is utterly essential. Like when one hears squealing tires, everyone waits for the bang from the crash.
Can I leave it with this? I don’t want to think about it and possibly water down the impact this almost unconscious writing may have on you.
23 October 2015